#GrowingUpWithAnxiety...

Hello guys...

anyone that is on twitter, will have noticed that during this week there has been a lot of #GrowingUpWith trends and one of the trends that really stood out to me was the one about anxiety. I sat and scrolled through the trend just looking at all of the tweets people were making about growing up with anxiety. Reading through all of these tweets about people who have anxiety and how they've suffered in similar ways to you have, is actually quite comforting to know that you aren't alone. Anxiety is something that I have never really enjoyed talking about or wanting people to know that I have it but as I have grown up and by being reassured that there are so many more people in the world and my age that have anxiety made me feel somewhat "normal".
I saw a lot of individuals tweeting that "people shouldn't be glorifying anxiety" which is completely not what is actually going on. Individuals are finally feeling strong enough to voice their problems and explain what it feels like to have and to have grown up with the disorder so why are we shaming them?
I know from my own experiences that growing up with anxiety is horrible, I always felt like there was something wrong with me, I didn't want to be out with my friends or even out of my bed. I was quite happy lying in my bed away from the world and I just couldn't understand why that was unhealthy. My family would ask me if I wanted to go out and I'd just cry because I simply did not want to get dressed and see other humans, the other of interacting with others that I did not know was enough to make me feel sick. I went through 15 years of my life thinking that there was something wrong with me but I wasn't sure what, I knew I wasn't as confident as my sisters and I didn't like to be out all of the time like they did. Whilst they would be out with their friends, I would be in my room reading a book or on the internet. It was not until I started my GCSE's and the worry kicked in and the constant crying, that I realised that I need some sort of help and I couldn't carry on the way I was living or else I would've made myself seriously ill. Being 16 and being afraid to talk to someone on the phone is quite embarrassing and I wish I was never like that, even now at 18 I am still so afraid to phone people whether that being friends, family or strangers. Phone calls are not for me. I have always been the type of person to hate attention, I would rather no one knew my name than have all eyes on me.
Anxiety is not a nice thing to have or to go through and I know that I will always have it no matter what but being able to look at this trend on twitter and see other people have experienced events just like I have, is a good feeling. I have always been afraid of talking about my anxiety because of the fear of being judged but once I open up and know that others are the same, it makes me question why I was so scared. In some ways, if I did not have my anxiety, I wouldn't be the person I was. I probably wouldn't have concentrated as much as I have within school and college if I didn't have a constant fear of being seen as "stupid" or a "drop out" so in some ways, if I didn't have anxiety, I probably wouldn't have come this far in life. I'm not saying that anxiety is a good thing but I guess there could be some positives if you look into it hard enough. I'm not afraid to admit to myself or anyone else that I have anxiety, more and more people are aware of the illness these days too which makes it a lot easier on me. I know that I am normal, I may have a mental illness but I am not my mental illness, anxiety does not define me.

Some of the tweets I saw that I found relatable to me were:

"#GrowingUpWithAnxiety constantly thinking people dislike you if they don't talk to you" this is something that you feel with anxiety because you have a constant fear of not being good enough or not being liked and half of the time you are just over thinking it but it makes you feel terrible.

"#GrowingUpWithAnxiety having too much anxiety to go to school and then people joke about you "skipping"" This happens. Not everyone will understand what anxiety is and they just don't see what the big problem is, loose those people out of your life.

"#GrowingUpWithAnxiety Being the most emotional in your family and crying over minor things and having the rest of your family not understand" !!!!!!!!!!! THIS !!!!!!!! nothing sums up my life now and when I was growing up more than this tweet.

"#GrowingUpWithAnxiety mentally preparing yourself for social interactions" I wish this wasn't true but it is. Knowing that you have a huge event coming up is always the worst, your mind does overtime and you have to plan and plan situations in your head that will probably not happen and because of the situations going on in your head, this can make you not even attend the social event to avoid interactions.

I have two photographs saved in my phone that I have had for the longest time and I am ready to share. Both of these photographs are from tumblr (feel free to leave your url in the comments and I will follow you)

I hope that these photographs come in helpful with you like they have with me and I hope that this overall post makes you feel as if you can be a bit more open about your anxiety or can relate to the illness.

Feel free to leave any comments if you would like to talk to me a bit more privately.

Ciao for now...